Punk Zombie

Cindy goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a great meal. Then Cindy starts to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard the fart. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women’s feet, and said in a rather stern voice, “Ginger!” Cindy thought, “this is great!” and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, “dammit Ginger!” Once again Cindy smiled and thought, “yes!” A few minutes later Cindy had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, “dammit Ginger, get away from her before she shits on you!”

When ads become better because of their location…

Something new to watch….

Here’s an example of what happens when artists get bored in front of a computer.

Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”

Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”

Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

Basketball analyst: “He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn’t like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.”

At the rowing medal ceremony: “Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.”

Soccer commentator: “Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.”

Tennis commentator: “One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them… Oh my God, what have I done.”