Jason Edwards was returning home a day early from a business trip, he got into a taxi at the airport after midnight, and while enroute to his home, asked the driver if he would be a witness, as he suspected his wife was having an affair, and expected to catch her in the act.

The driver agreed, and they both tiptoed into the bedroom, turned on the lights pulled the blanket back and found the wife in bed with another man. Jason put his gun to the man’s head, and the wife shouted, “Don’t do it, this man has been very generous. Who do you think paid for the Corvette I said I bought for you, who do you think paid for our new boat, he did!”

Jason, looked over at the cab driver, and said, “What would you do in a case like this?” The cabbie smiled, and said, “I’d cover him up before he catches cold.”

How to shower like a woman

• Take off all your clothes and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
• Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
• Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
• Complain and whine about getting fat.
• Get into shower.
• Look for facecloth, arm cloth, loin cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
• Wash hair once with Tea Tree shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
• Wash hair again with Tea Tree shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
• Condition hair with Tea Tree conditioner with enhanced sunflower oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
• Wash face with crushed pineapple papaya facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
• Wash entire rest of body with Yogurt body wash.
• Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it’s all come off.
• Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
• Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
• Turn off shower.
• Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
• Spray mould spots with Tilex.
• Get out of shower.
• Dry with towel the size of small Latin country.
• Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
• Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
• Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If husband seen, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

• Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
• Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making the “Woo” sound.
• Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs.
• Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
• Get in shower.
• Don’t bother to look for wash cloth – don’t use one.
• Wash armpits.
• Wash privates and the surrounding area.
• Crack up at how loud farts sound in the shower.
• Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.
• NOW !!! Wash face.
• Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
• Make shampoo Mohawk. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
• Pee (in shower).
• Rinse off and get out of shower.
• Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
• Partially dry off.
• Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of knob (again).
• Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
• Leave bathroom light and fan on.
• Return to bedroom with towel around waist