Punk Zombie

There’s an Australian, a Frenchman and a Canadian, they were bragging about their sexual escapades with their respective wives.

“After I have zee sex wiz my wife” said the Frenchman, “I cover her wiz crepes suzette and eat it sensually off her
silky bare skin. She becomes so excited she rises centimetres off ze bed.”

“After I screw my wife,” drawled the Canadian, “I pour maple syrup on her body and lick it off real slowly. She’s in so much goddamn ecstasy she rises feet off the bed.”

“Me?”, says the Aussie. “When I’ve finished with my old lady I wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the roof!”

Disturbing Video…

A few years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two kids in bed with my wife, Jules, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleeping in the guest bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was O.K. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don’t sleep with Mom that night. They said O.K.

After my next trip several weeks later, Jules and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane’s arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers. As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting,

“Hi, Dad! I’ve got some good news!” As I waved back, I said loudly, “What is the good news?”

“The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!” Alex shouted. The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.