Photo of an eHarmony Rejection Letter

Maria & Jason Harris are staying in a nice hotel, and after a romantic evening wining and dining they go off to bed.

However, as soon as they settled down, Jason leans over and whispers softly, “Hey snuggle boopy boops, your lickle hubby wubby isn’t quite ready for bye-byes yet.”

Maria takes the hint and says, “OK, but I have to use the bathroom first.” So, off she goes but on her way back she trips over a piece of carpet and lands flat on her face.

Jason jumps up and exclaims in a concerned tone “Oh my little honey bunny, is your nosey-wosey all right?”

No harm is done, so she jumps into bed and they have mad passionate sex for three hours. Afterwards, Maria goes off to the bathroom again, but on her way she trips over the same piece of carpet and again lands flat on her face on the floor.

Jason looks over and grunts “Clumsy bitch.”

In Japanese with English Subtitles…..

Lisa Costello is in bed with Ron her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend.

They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings.

Since it’s Lisa’s house, she picks up the phone. Ron listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

“Hello? Oh, hi… I’m so glad that you called… Really? That’s wonderful…. Well, I’m happy to hear you’re having such a great time… Oh, that sounds terrific… Thanks. Okay. Ba-bye.”

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, “Who was that?”

“Oh” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with you.”

Cool stop motion video animation…